Looking back on my pregnancy

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I am now eight months pregnant and am finally able to look back at my pregnancy with a clear enough mind to be able to write about it. I haven't discussed my pregnancy much on here and this is because pregnancy does something weird to me. I sort of loose myself in it and am unable to think straight. For most of my pregnancy I have been pouring all of my energy into staying healthy both mentally and physically and this leaves me little room to enjoy it all. Looking back on it, I can now see how dark and difficult this time has been for me. Between severe morning sickness and exhaustion I felt extreme guilt for not being able to enjoy this precious time of growing a baby. This led to a lot of negative feelings about myself. I mean, pregnancy is amazing and so beautiful; how could you feel anything but pure joy and love?! I now realize that my feeling were totally normal. Pregnancy is hard and can take a huge toll on your body. Some people handle it better than others and not everyone is going to enjoy it and that doesn't make you a bad person! My biggest regret is how hard I was on myself and I hope that by opening up about how I was feeling, I will help other mothers who are experiencing the same things that I did.

Now that I am only a month away, I feel like I can really soak in the magic of this pregnancy. While my body is uncomfortable most of the day, I am no longer dealing with morning sickness and exhaustion. I am feeling so much excitement for our little girl to join us and, instead of just trying to survive the day, I am able to spend my time preparing for her and enjoying my last month of just Scarlett and I. While I hate how poorly my body handles pregnancy, I am extremely thankful for this short period of clarity. Little things, such as packing a hospital bag, that I couldn't care less about before now bring me joy. All of her little kicks and movements make my heart feel so full. She is so loved. <3

The other day, we had some family maternity photos done by our favourite photographer (Ashley Godin Photography). I wanted to share a bunch of them here because I am so obsessed with the way Ashley captured our family! I had such a tough time choosing which to post because they were all so perfect. We can be a little on the difficult side to capture photos of because Scarlett is kind of wild and I always feel (and probably look) a little awkward in front of a camera but somehow Ashley always manages to get the most stunning photos of us! You can check out her work here and here.

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