My first trimester experience
It was about a year after I had Scarlett that I realized I really wanted another baby. I had originally only wanted one but after a year of being a mother I realized how much I love it! I wanted Scarlett to have a sibling and I wanted another child in our lives. I came off of my birth control and we decided to try. We didn't want the pressure of getting pregnant to cause stress in our lives so we kept an "if it happens, it happens. If not, then we keep trying" attitude. This is easier said then done and I admit there were times where I was frustrated and upset. Almost a year went by and still no baby. By this time we had sort of given up on having another baby right away and starting planning our future travels instead.
We came home from a trip to Mexico at the beginning of May. Scarlett had caught a cold on our way home and a few days later I came down with the same cold. I was extremely nauseated and could barely eat while Scarlett seemed to be okay besides a mild cough and runny nose. My nausea continued to get worse and I felt exhausted and weak. One evening I came to the realization that perhaps I wasn't just suffering from a common cold; perhaps there was more to it. I remember being curled up in bed feeling sorry for myself and thinking "ugh, the last time I felt this nauseated and tired I was pregnant". DING! There it was. I jumped out of bed, threw on the first outfit I saw, grabbed Scarlett, and rushed out to the store to pick up some pregnancy tests. I came home and took one immediately. It showed up positive within 5 seconds of taking it. I remember thinking "that can't be right, it's supposed to take longer to show up" so I took another an hour later and the same thing happened. I felt a whole mix of emotions. I was so shocked and in total disbelief. I took four more tests before I let myself believe it was actually happening. The dream that I had almost given up on of having another child was finally coming true!
Our excitement quickly turned to worry. We had just come back from Mexico and I had to get tested for Zika virus. Had we known I was pregnant we never would have gone and I had taken no measures to protect myself against bug bites. I was so upset with myself and so worried. However, everything was fine and we were back on cloud nine.
I do not handle pregnancy well. I get very very sick and exhausted and spend most of the day trying and failing to keep food down. My morning sickness lasted my whole pregnancy with Scarlett and I believe this time will be no different. During my first trimester I started taking medication for it and while it made me feel better, it also made me feel very drowsy. I found it difficult to enjoy the magic of pregnancy and connecting to the baby growing inside of me. This caused me to become almost depressed in my first trimester. All of the positive emotions that I wanted so bad to feel were drowned in exhaustion and sickness. I wanted to be one of those glowing pregnant women who talk about how amazing they feel and how connected to their body and baby they are. However, no matter how positive I tried to be, I spent my first trimester living in a fog unable to see or think clearly. Needless to say, I do not glow whilst pregnant.
Almost immediately after my first trimester was over I felt this fog lift. My sickness and exhaustion were still there but it improved quite a bit and I finally felt like I could think clearly. I started feeling connected to the baby and started to get nesting feelings. I now feel better as each day goes by. I watch as my bump grows and feel love and excitement.
More to come on my second trimester soon! :)